23 May 2007

We will not rest...until sometime Friday around noon

The new Democrat controlled Congress has been on the job since January 4th, and what a job they've done. Elected to do who knows what, they've pretty much followed through on that promise.

Leading by example. On December 6th, 2006, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer was full of vim and vigor, ready to take the country in a new direction. "I have bad news for you," Hoyer told the Washington Post. "Those trips you had planned in January, forget 'em. We will be working almost every day in January, starting with the 4th."

Ever since then, Congressman Hoyer, Speaker Pelosi and their merry band of Democrats have been blazing a snail's pace across the nation. Actually, the only way they could move slower is by actually moving backwards.

Here are their accomplishments thus far.

They've passed 26 bill, 11 of which renamed buildings. Way to go there! Now people will have bad or confusing directions until every web based map program is updated to account for this legislative milestone.

They've also...well...They've taken some well deserved...They haven't done a lot, actually. But with a work schedule like they've had, they can't be expected to produce. Here's how their new work ethic translates into action.

After working the 4th of January, they took the next two Mondays off. (You can't work every Monday, otherwise people will start to expect it!)

Number of full weeks worked in January: 0. (Come on! There are college Bowl games to watch! That's like the people's business, since the people care about them. Look at the ratings!)

Number of full weeks worked in the new Congress: 7 out of 19. (If this were baseball they'd be well on their way to the Hall of Fame. Since this isn't baseball, they're just lazy.)

The "full" week of March 26th, they left at 10:00 am on Friday. (It was warm that day, tee times had to be honored over campaign promises.)

Number of Mondays worked: 14 of 20. (Monday's are a drag, who wants to work?)

Number of Fridays worked: 10 of 20. (Again, who wants to work on Friday? Plus, there is the added bummer of Monday being only 2 days away. You need time to prepare for that.)

Number of Fridays worked past 2:00 pm: 5 of 20. (Again, I ask: Who works past 2:00 on a Friday? Only those suckers who have jobs that require them to show up, do things, and produce. You know, the kind of jobs like voters have. Oh yeah, I guess we are the suckers.)

I encourage the lazy the run for office. Sure, the campaign will be a bit of drag, what with all the having to be someplace and talk to people and stuff. But if you get elected it's easy street all the way! Congress has become welfare with monogrammed shirts. Not that is was ever a bastion of work ethic, it's just that most leaders don't break such easy to keep promises so soon after taking office.

No comments: